By Mark Lawley, Past SWACDA President
15 Truths I Learned from Living and Conducting
By Mark Lawley, Past SWACDA President
After 4th grader Nemo left his voice lesson, I noticed there was a penny laying on my piano. A week later, I told him he left the penny and reached to give it back to him. “Oh no!” he exclaimed. “I wanted you to have it! I found it laying “heads up,” and I wanted to pass along the good luck!” Ah! The pure goodness of a child! Over the last 40 years as a teacher/conductor, I’ve found many “pennies” laying heads up! Here are 15 of them I would like to pass along as a “good luck” wish to each of you!
In music and in life, if given the choice between piano and forte, choose piano. Incorporating a quiet voice in life and in musicing, offers a much sweeter path than forte. I learned this concept from Charles Robinson of UMKC.
In music and in life, if given the choice between ritardando and accelerando, choose ritardando. Speeding up often leads to a sort of frenetic life and music-making. Take your time while being aware of musical and personal needs. When you “ritardando,” you will leave peace and calm in your wake. (Charles Robinson.)
When the notes of your music-making sound like the definition of the lyrics, this is art! What would these words sound like if they were realized in the way a note is sung or played: love, care, tenderly, joy, wonder, pain?
In choosing between family and career, choose family, every time! It has broken my heart to see others give themselves fully to an organization that cannot love them back, only to lose someone who loved them fully.
Striving to gain approval from the profession is futile. Your time is best invested in caring for the ensemble in front of you. Coax, teach, nurture, and inspire them to create the most expressive art of which they are capable. Draw a circle around these humans and cherish them.
Phrases to use when dealing with challenging people and situations:
“Let’s revisit this tomorrow, I need some thinking time.”
“Thank you for your email; I’m taking it to heart. After processing your words, I will respond with a thoughtful reply.”
“I can understand how frustrating that is, I will get back to you with some ideas for a solution.”
“I never thought about it that way; your perspective is important to me; thank you for helping me realize it from your point of view.”
Be careful how you define success. This concept was taught to me by a student. She was part of a choir of which most members were new to choral music and had never sung a major work with orchestra and in a foreign language. She said, “If success is performing the Schubert with perfection, then you will be very disappointed. However if success is defined by growth, then Friday’s concert will be a grand success.” Lesson learned.
“It’s not about showing off, competing, winning, it is about offering your very best right here and now.” This was taught to me by a student teacher. We certainly cannot do better than our best, and we should refuse to give anything less than our very best.
“I will not be more proud of you when you make the choir, or less proud of you if you don’t. I am incredibly proud of your progress, courage and commitment to excellence. I am as proud of you as can be right now!” I have often used these words with students when they audition for All District, All-State, SWACDA, or ACDA Honor Choirs. And we celebrate the results with a toast of sparkling apple juice! I recite all the things they did to prepare and then a “clink” of the glasses and a sip of celebration. Those who are accepted and those who didn’t make it this time, receive a celebratory toast.
When your focus as a conductor/teacher is to honor your teachers and anyone who has invested things of merit into your skills, your life on the podium will often feel like soaring. When the focus is on self, this often leads to fear, striving, proving, and forcing, and the art will not speak. It is best to choose honor.
When you find your life’s calling, you’ll never work a day in your life.
You’ll never feel more alive than when you are celebrating others.
When you notice the giftings of others, it seems to open the door for those qualities to become part of your own work and expressiveness as an artist.
What I like about you! Choosing to tell others what we admire about them, doesn’t make us less, but it does build a bridge between two people. I’ve used this concept in choral rehearsals. I had the choir stand, then sang a simple jingle “what I like about you” then encouraged them to tell someone in the choir what they liked/admired about another. After they complimented someone they were welcomed to sit down. This doesn’t take very long and the results are a life giving community. You’ll also learn surprising and wonderful things about others. Can you imagine the sound of a choir that knows, appreciates and loves one another? Oooooolala!
Standing on those risers in front of you is someone’s child. No matter if they are 10 or 80 years old. This human was likely driven home from the hospital with the driver going at least 10 mph under the speed limit. Whether they are easy or difficult to love, it helps to remember that to another person in the world they are a treasure. We should seek first to understand. Understanding leads to compassion which often gives way to love. Ah love. Love remains the one thing that we all have in common; the need to receive and give love. Let love lead the way. Life may be messy and imperfect, but love can cover it all.
It has been said that we are all just walking each other home. I think this is true. Envisioning walking with another on the journey home causes my heart to warm. I think being on the lookout for a penny laying heads up will sweeten the journey. But be sure, like Nemo, to pass that penny along to a fellow traveler. Can you imagine how life giving the road home will be as we spend the rest of our days passing back and forth all the pennies we find? It will be too wonderful!
Life is short, love well.
I’m rooting for you!
Oh, and here’s a penny.
